1. Never Be Without Your Burger
Sort of speaks for itself.
2. Never Miss An Opportunity to Sue
It turns out the Entire Store was indeed more than 12.99. When I offered to buy the store — as an investment property — she wasn’t interested. I made vague threats about false advertising, and my attorney will do the rest… not forgetting to mention the anguish (both mental and otherwise), whiplash, deep embarrassment or any other thing I suffered that will eventually increase the settlement amount of my lawsuit.
3. Always Advertise with Sexual Innuendo
Weekends will be spent worshipping the great god Consumerism — because everything you bought last weekend is now out of fashion and needs to be replaced. The Economy depends on it, after all; and saving is for losers.